I've also gotta give a welcome to Hermana Starke for getting things amped up at the MTC and especially wish the future Sister (no idea how they say it in Tagalog) Karly Manwill! Just two more days to go!?!? Wow life is Seriously not even real...at least I can say (in my old person voice...) "back in the day when I left on my mission there were only 50,000 missionaries..." but how great it is to see hundreds of my friends responding to the call and hastening the Lord's work! What I wanted to share today is a message that I hope every missionary comes to understand which if you do, you will always overcome when the trial is put in your path. So as I said before, General Conference is even better than Disneyland to a missionary and makes me feel like Samuel-the-whiteboy standing on top of walls with my not quite as white shirt and tie proclaiming to the whole city that the Prophet of God chosen by Christ will be speaking to the world! Hearken to his words for he is the "watchman" which has been prophesied by Abinadi!!!(Mosiah 15:29) I always get so stoked about the whole idea of hearing the message from the Living Prophet of which we testify 24/7 along with his counselors and the Apostles.
So as the Saturday started off, it was better than any season starting kickoff I'd seen with the announcement of 65,000 missionaries worldwide along with President Packer and Elder Ballard starting off the sessions with some amazing messages! Every time someone gets up to the pulpit is like scoring a touchdown with how excited we are, continually getting us more and more amped. Well for some reason, as it came up to the Preisthood Session (which is hands down my favorite part of Conference), those feelings and all the excitement took a U-Turn and my feelings got worse and worse and worse until they were at the lowest they had ever been in the mission field. I was more depressed than I had ever been, and I seemed to be feeding those thoughts as I was trying to understand why on Earth I could possibly feel like I did. I thought, "I'm out here on the mission...these are supposed to be the best two years of my life....I'm also watching my favorite part of conference! What is going on?!?!" I tried to think of blessings I had, but it was like a fuse that would give light for a second and then die as more and more negative thoughts just kept coming to me. It was during the first
three talks that thoughts kept coming saying "Yeah when you were a deacon, you could've done this" or "wow, you really failed at that as a teacher..." and all these thoughts of things that I didn't do or places where I fell short as an Aaronic Preisthood holder led onto my
mission. Thoughts of "Yup you sure missed that opportunity...", "There's not even close to enough time left for you to meet that goal...", and the worst of all, "Do you honestly think you're meeting other's expectations?!?!?!" would repeat themselves over and over and over again. Never had I felt so alone or confused in all my life and I just about screamed in my head "What is going on?!?!? I'm listening to servants of God surrounded by Priesthood holders singing my favorite hymn "Hope Of Israel"....and I feel lower than I ever have before." After that thought, time seemed to slow down, and as President Utchdorf started his talk, everything seemed to fade out of existence and I felt like it was just me and the screen in the chapel. It felt like there was nobody else as President Utchdorf finished his introduction on titles, looked at the camera, and said "The First title we have is Son Of Heavenly Father. We must never forget that even though Satan is giving you the most destructive thoughts you've had, you are a literal Son of our Father In Heaven. Satan will do
whatever he can to try to erase that thought from your mind...." and as I was hearing this, I just thought, "Wow....it's like a response in a normal conversation! I had these thoughts like 2 minutes ago!?!" And I don't even know if that's what he said or if he used that sort of
phrase telling me that Satan was currently working to his full capacity to bring me down, but it's what I heard, and I will never forget it. As I caught hold of his words, they brought me up higher and higher and higher as he completely terminated other worries I have had throughout my mission and I was able to see that as Satan came at me with full force, so did the Savior. From that talk to the other it brought me higher and higher, prouder than I had ever been to be a missionary and especially made me feel really close to my family knowing that they would be watching it at the same time, especially in the Priesthood Session during President Monson's talk as I remembered always going to those sessions with Dad, and even though we were a ways apart and our callings were different, I felt a piece of home.
After what I called "The Hat-Trick Priesthood Session" (due to the First Presidency's back to back talks, I'm sure Elder Stead is so tired of hearing that terminology), but the Savior's retaliation was able to continue to grow and build onto some of the greatest inspiration I have recieved on my mission and led me to a Gold Mine that I couldn't beleive I and all the Texas Dallas Missionaries had been missing for so long! After all these ideas came to me on what I decided to call a "Youth Blitz", I called up our Branch President and asked if we could go over to his house to display our ideas for just a half hour. We definitely took more than a half hour, but because of the revelation I recieved after the lowest point on my mission, this
area is going to change forever. Not only will we increase in baptisms and people accepting the Gospel, we will have young men and women ready to hit the mission field running at full speed. I love this Gospel. I love this work. I love the mission, and I want to know when President Monson will be inspired to let missionaries serve as long as Mission Presidents so I can get a whole 3 years in. It's crazy being the 3rd oldest in my District of 8 and having already seen 3 out of the 4 conferences I get on my mission! I know Christ lives, this Church is true, it is the only Church that can be led by Jesus Christ, and to know the truth of all things, you need not test or question every jot and tittle pertaining to it. We are all Sons and Daughters of our Heavenly Father, so think like one, and live like one.
Les Quiero Tanto!!!
Elder Justin Wilson
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