So the statement above in the title should answer one of the most Frequently Asked Questions at any Zone Conference...."President!!! Can you tell us about the time that you dunked on Jordan???" And every time it is met with the same response by President Durrant saying "That never happened and there is no video proof." And then everyone will start to jeer him on and he'll just grin until he puts his foot down and we have to move to another subject.
But one of our last trainings, we ended up putting him on the spot again. When he asked what we wanted to talk about--we were back to the Michael Jordan subject. Then he hit us with a powerful message where he talked about the hype that was in the NBA when he played and introduced the new "Jordan" shoes. He laughed as he told us about how the NBA charged him 10,000 dollars a game since he wore shoes that crossed the NBA dress-code and how it ended up being the best thing that ever happened to him as they're still the number one selling shoe and he hasn't played for the last 15 years or so. Then he dropped a statement that really hit me when he said, "But there isn't a thing Michael Jordan has that I want." Then he talked about how he doesn't have the blessings of the Priesthood in his life. If he did, he would have been able to bless his family so much, and maybe he wouldn't have divorced his wife. He owns an NBA team, but you can buy a ticket anytime to get the same pleasure out of the sport...and then I thought about how painful it would be to have to watch every game of the Charlotte Bobcats. Sure he's got some beautiful children, but they're not preparing to make covenants with the Lord or start and continue the ultimate blessing of eternal families. He doesn't get the opportunity to serve as a Mission President and hasn't had the blessing to serve a mission. Then President ended it with a slammer by stating, "....and I dunked on Michael Jordan." The whole room erupted and we all came to the conclusion that it is not possible to have a better Mission President because...simply....yours didn't dunk on Michael Jordan.
Well...moving on....
For the past while out here in East Texas, Elder Trias and I have turned somewhat into the 'Rabid Stray/Pest Control'. This means that we have fought off or captured all the stray cats and dogs that have come in our path out here, and all I've gotta say is there's tons of them. As time has gone on in the mission, we have come to the resolution that we're ultimately tired of running from these dogs and decided that we need to up the ante and put a little more excitement into the already adventurous tracting-turned-into-Swamp-Diving days. So we keep ourselves armed with all sorts of random weapons we find,
backpack slung onto one shoulder just in case we need to swing it at our Canine foes, and of course the leathermans that we always carry. There was one street that we tracted that normally had at least 5 big dogs from Pit Bulls to Labs to Mugs to Boxers and all that jazz. So as we walked down the street, tired of trying to avoid them, we just started walking confidently, unloosing the backpacks to ready the blow and taking out the knives we had on hand. They saw the stride in our step as we came closer to their hood, they looked at us and just scattered. I thought it was the coolest thing ever, but was kind of
surprised at their reaction as we were getting ready for a throw down...that is until I looked back at Elder Trias and saw him toss a broken beer bottle to the side of the road. Welcome to Texas. Home of some of the most random, but effective weapons.
We also found a pretty sketchy area out here where the real hillbillies live, along with some more Mexicans! As we were knocking in that area, we found a cat that just kept following us wherever we'd go. When we returned to our car, so did the cat, and before we closed the door he ended up jumping on in. So for a while we were a Missionary Trio and took him everywhere with us just for more spiritual power and testimony! After all, doesn't it talk in the Bible
about the power of two or three witnesses???
This past week we also got to see what I would like to call the "Redneck Driving Range." In the modernly accepted culture, Golf is a sport of great interest and can be used for fun, competition, an excuse to drink, an excuse to drive a mini car anywhere you want on a grass field, or a common meeting spot for business transactions. The game, involving directing the ball where you want it to go, is much harder than one would generally think and is practiced on an open field generally known as a 'Driving Range' where you can hit as many
balls as you want with whatever club you please while directing it toward one or more holes. As we had the opportunity to visit a family that we did service for, they began to show us what all Texans love to show anyone, their guns and animal trophies. As we took the tour of their 200+ acres, the Mom showed us the spot where she had shot her award winning buck; a normal old rusty chair with a block of wood you can rest your rifle on. The chair faced toward a clearing in the trees and drop down a hill where there was a perfectly cleared green about 300 yards from where we stood and a deer feeder placed straight in the middle. So animals would just come and go as they pleased while you
could walk out the back door, and like Mrs. Andrews did in her Pajamas, and shoot any animal you'd like, making the perfect Redneck Driving Range.
Well, like normal I'm running out of time....but to end with the words that so unexpectedly came from President Austin as we were watching members drive out after the last meeting of the day..."Just smile and wave boys. Just smile and wave..."
Les Quiero!!!!
Elder Wilson
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